The Secret of Conflict

Let’s get one thing straight.  It takes two somethings to make a conflict.  It also takes two conflicting goals.  So if you want to understand conflicts in your own head, you are going to have to understand those somethings and their conflicting goals. 

You can find plenty of stories about the somethings.  We favor a story that combines the ancient traditions of unity and self-awareness with observations of modern physiological psychology.     You can read about these the pages on Unity and the Psychology of Thinkering. 

Thinkering is about getting familiar with the modules in your head.  Thinkering is about hearing from all the modules you need to help you choose a goal.  Thinkering is about getting all those modules to come together on the hunt. 

If you chase a goal, you want to get your whole head behind you.

The thinkering tools help you to focus on the modules in your head.   With that focus, you can see whether those modules are marching to the same drummer.  The tools also offer things you can do to get the modules in step. 

Then you are the drummer.

So how do you cure conflicts?
Cure?  We never said it was a disease.  You have many different modules in your brain.  They have different jobs with different goals.   Most of the goals have to fit into the same reality.  There will be conflicts.  You don’t cure them. You manage them. 

You’ve heard about a CEO who has nothing but yes-men around him.  He gets into trouble because he has nobody to challenge his plans.  A smart CEO arranges to hear all the objections from the relevant people while the planning is in progress.  That brings up obstacles, pitfalls, and needs at a time when the CEO can consider them in the planning.  Conflicts, when managed effectively, make for better planning.

Does knowing about conflicts take care of them?
Of course not.  It just lets you get more of your brain on the job of managing them.  That job usually calls for problem-solving.  So we put links to the problem-solving venue in case you want to do something about the conflicts.

A problem is just an opportunity that is being mismanaged.